Like most Americans, I’m saddened by the tragedy in Arizona this past weekend. I’m praying for families who have lost a loved one, and for those who are injured and healing. Also, I’m specifically praying for the parents of the shooter, Jared Loughner.
My husband and I heard the news about the shooting later than most because weekends are a news-free zone. After reading some of the details, I told my husband, “This is a young man with schizophrenia.” I was later proven correct.
After these kind of events, there is an inevitable questions, “What about the parents?” or “Why didn’t the parents do something?” If the Loughner’s experience is the same as mine, they did try. Let me tell you about what happened in our family.
Our son was in his early teens when his behavior began to change. We sought help from our pastor, a child psychologists, and psychiatrist. Brains scans were done, along with complete physicals. We were told everything from we were bad parents to he was just a bad kid. Professionals told us that he had a brain anomaly or maybe mild seizures. But no one–NO ONE–mentioned a serious mental illness.
When our son turned eighteen, we could no longer compel him to doctors or therapy. Even though he was still living in our home and still on our medical insurance, we had no input. I couldn’t even call to find out when his therapy appointments were. It wasn’t until he attempted suicide when he was twenty that a diagnosis, a name for the bizarre behavior, was given. After his 72-hour hold at a psychiatric facility, he was released with a note to seek professional help. Period. End of story.
From the scant news reports it appears that Mr. and Mrs. Loughner were in the same situation. They were told of their son’s problems but were helpless to do anything about it. They may be saying, “If only we had known when he was a minor. If only we could have gotten him the treatment he so desperately needed.”
Burdensome medical health privacy laws prevent parents from helping their adult child get the treatment they need. Even though the college informed Mr. and Mrs. Loughner of their son’s problems, they could do nothing without his cooperation. Arizona, like other states, does have a law that allows the court to declare a person mentally incompetent, but winding through the system can take months. Law enforcement’s hands are tied unless the person proves to be a danger to self or others. Often by the time the danger is exhibited, it is too late.
Jared Loughner’s parents are devastated and hurting. Hurting every bit as much as those who lost a loved one. The Loughners have lost their son to a grave brain illness. He may never again be the little boy they raised. Blaming them serves no useful purpose. Changing the system might.
I don’t have any easy answers. It would be helpful if parents, or other close family members, had a fast track to the courts when their loved is in desperate need of help. Mental health professionals should be allowed to accept assistance from family members to provide necessary treatment.
Do you have any suggestions?
CBS News – parents “hurting real bad”
USA Today – parents devastated
I live in Arizona, and as a family member of someone diagnosed with a serious mental illness (SMI) I can assure you that the quality of case management and treatment by the behavioral health system is abysmal. While Jarod Loughner and his family would be under the jurisdiction of the mental health authority contracted by Pima County (Tucson), I can’t imagine it is any better than the system here in Maricopa County (Phoenix) which is run by Magellan Health Services and their contractors..
Based on my experience, patients identified as a danger to themselves and others end up being influenced by peer counselors and unqualified or poorly trained psychiatrists and psychologists who can only be described as enablers. In my experience, the family member rapidly degraded into a more severe and unstable state. Their behavior became even more psychotic and irrational with criminal activity and harassment increasing ten fold.
Input of critical information regarding the patient from family members is discouraged or impossible, due to the previously mentioned poor qualifications of the MD’s and therapists as well the frustrating and irrational secrecy and lack of communication by all levels of behavioral health personnel.
By: Gary Keyfauver on July 2, 2011
at 9:05 pm
Gary, California has a law that requires doctors, ERs, and other professional to listen to family members about a persons history. Of course, there’s no way to require the professional to take heed.
HIPPA is another huge problem. While my son lived in my home, and was in treatment, I couldn’t even find out when his appointments were so I could remind him, without written permission. That permission could be revoked at any time. Further, family members have been left sitting on a bench outside the pysch wing while a unknown, government-paid attorney fights for the ill family member to released — dangerous or not. I’ve seen family members sit all day, only to find out that their loved one had been release without the judge hearing their information.
There are so many ways that the mental health system is broken. Ignoring and marginalizing family members tops the list, in my opinion.
By: Susan Stewart on August 2, 2011
at 6:58 am
Susan, I don’t know for sure who posted the comment on December 19, 2011. My comment pointed out problems with the behavioral health system in Arizona and wasn’t directed at any specific individual. The criticisms certaintly wouldn’t “polish my image” with the state health agency or their providers. They pointed out a problem or problems which, if addressed, would help everyone involved – family members as well as the patients.
However, the Dec. 19th comments fit what would be expected from any individual suffering from a severe personality disorder. If a PD individual perceives others are hurting them, they may strike out with physical violence, verbal abuse, or hurtful rumors spread to family and friends. This is a well known characteristic of these disorders, often called “distortion campaigns” directed toward their “targets” which can be a family member, friend, and even a therapist, judge, or police officer – anyone who currently may be a threat to their idea of reality.
The PD patient can’t see their own role in their daily life problems so they focus their problems and blame on a specific person or persons.
By: Gary on January 2, 2012
at 12:36 am
Gary Keyfauver,
Just going around participating in mental illness committees to polish your image I’d say a bit too late !
The truth is Gary had thrown my sister in a mental onsititiin 3-4 times as he had an affair at 58 years old (the girl was the same age as their daughter (20yrs old!)
The girl was a stripper and Gary -SHAME on you!
Respect your family and stop this cover up mentality blogging sympathic words as you really spent around 43,000.00 to then dispose of a wife 16 years your Junior !
To everyone on this blog ! Gary Lee Keyfauver had an extratial affair and chose to have sexual relations with a girl that was a 20 yr old stripper !
At his age he spent in godly amounts of money to trade in his 3rd wife !
1. Mary Joann – was his first 10yrs
2. Sharon Kay – was his second 7yrs
3. My sister was the 3rd victim -20 yrs
My sister was married to him from the young age of 23! She had a mental breakdown due to a Gary really having a sexual affair for 2 years!
They delegated he filed for divorce as she was institutionalized by HIM 3 -4 times as he tormented her ( she had tape recorded the cruel mental abuse and it’s needless to say still in litigation !
Gary -Was laid off but lied to the court indicating that it was his wife’s fault he was let go from his work!
He’s pathetic she is on disability and is really not healthy and has liver failure!
He had taken their titles to their vehicles changed out titles files for order of protcrection and a division had been placed with my sisters children !
My sister has 3 children her son was I
Deployed as Gary placed her in an institution as she caught him cheating !
This man is only airing to polish his image!
Please refrain from doing that as my sister I’d say unhealthy as she was placed by Gary 3-4 times because she wanted to just take her life! To now have liver failure and Is on disability and he had caused her to loose her job in 2010!
He refuses to basically settle their youngest is 20yrs old and had already ran a year ago to her grandmother crying her father was being abusive keeping her from seeing her mother! Gary I’d abusive and controlling !
He is just trying to pilish him self as he was caught and impregnated a 20 yr old stripper ! He is not right due to his
retirement not wanting to loose that as well as his inheirited comingled funds !
I’m sorry to have to say this (Susan!) but really his wrong to polish himself getting involved (when he abandoned his wife in a institution to get entirely a gain and move accounts around and be nothing mire than FOUL is sad!
His affair doesn’t or shouldn’t be blogging or as Our Family had complained to Magellain Health Services (Remiving him from making any choice for the Mentally Ill !)
He had 3 years prior had an order of protection placed on him as Gary in 2008 had become physically/Mentally abusive to my sister! The onset of his affair and at that time the girl was 18 yes old a stripped at Centerfolds!
So please refrain I from blogging Gary !
The Magellain health services in
County removed him from the committee
he was trying to polish him self as he struggles to not be fair in a division and a sour hurtful divorce !
He is nothing more than a Monster caught and he was foul not showing on his daughters prom night ! It was a tradition he with the two older children that are my sisters had been there but excusing his Goullness to be with his stripper who he bought a 2,500 bed for and lied in a mass to be abusive beating her up at 3:30 AM after my sister emailec the stripper! He had finallly never after the first 3 times he placed my sister in UPC as she was hurt he had lied to her doctor at desert vista that my sister hilucinated and made up a story! Dr. Paul Berkowitz, PHD 4th time would not release my sister to go bsck into the relationship to be in Garys care as he had failed to seek counseling as agreed along with my sister! when she had confronted his infedelities he was nothing but very physically and emotionally abusive ! He beat her as he told her if she opened her mouth or remotely caught for anything that shall be divide fairly he would hurt her son! My
Sisters son is in the Air force MIlitary Police! My sisters son also was deployed in bagdad as his mother was being beat violently her last time on 3-3-2010 and after he abused my sister he pulled phone cords out and took her phone, car keys and she called the police as Gary abused the system and as the police made a domestic violence report he had one of their daughters petition her in Magellain as my sister was sick and had been for 4-6 months! Gary had badly treated her and was always annoyed her health was not right !
My sister once on a trip with Gary as she tried to repair her mariage (she really loved him and my sister she is devistated still cries as really she misses her family unit ! On January 3, 2011 two huge rumors had been surgically removed as the doctor thought they were cancer!
My sister during s trip with Gary in California had been asked where she wanted to EAT and she said sushi and he was argiung and my sister commented sharp in resonse to his out hurray burst he would have ! My sister told him well you seem to like it with your stripper!
My sister was abandoned in Cakifornia and just had been sick continually ! My sister was dealing with a problem previously doctors had miss diagnosed her as just bladder infections!
My Sister didn’t know about her health abd scarrd for months always in pain
having back pain !
Gary had been cruel to to state my sister
was seeking attention and always sick!
My sister had two grape fruit size Tumors removed both the size of grapes fruits!
Gary also remarried my sister to pasify her as he exited !
The entire sad part he spent more money on this stripper buying her shopping sprees , hair cuts, dinners and wined and dined a young new stripper as he hurt my sister in 20 yes bought her 6 Xmas gifts !
I thought how cruel ! She said he cared less and she bought the kids gifts and it hurt my sister to see him pour hi’ self into 20 yr old and careless all these years as he say you know you can just buy your own or never out any feeling into their kids gifts !
Never really taking his family out on special dinners or see their son as he graduated boot camp Airforce !
Gary never Took the family on a vacation but flew 4 strippers all over!
It’s sad!
Gary please refrain from polishing an image that is obvious court record! Yes exhibits of your extramarital affairs can be found for review ( it’s public record !)
yes i had to fly my mentally Ill sister to Washington to get away as Gary was trying to steal her vehichle after taking her name off the title of a paid for vehicle !
Her son is gaining guardianship as we predicted that if he didn’t Gary would find away to steal or take her settled amount )401k is hard to split and recoup! Three mariges he always married a 22 year old buy despised of the others before the were 30 years old!
Please out of respect Allow my post to remain ( there are two sides to every story!)
He is not a concerned love one!
He’s concerned he will get nothing because the Jude had seen through him serving my sister in a h living Shelter and she chose to not live with family to keep them from the abusiveness
It’s been almost 2 years since my sister was placed by Gary to sickly dispose of hid wife! Now her refusals to have him in her treatment are due the her being really royaly abused by this man!
If confirmation is needed it is public record !! He diluberately stays in employed and now claims he can’t work ! She had no medical insurance makes too much for her psychiatric medication !
He care less about her (reslly!) his grandmother at a young age was placed into the Instiituon on 24th -Vanburen ! Abandoned !
My sister took care if his mother and his sick aunt as Gary selfishly a college student since 1979!
To defer student loans! 1992-1996 Gary collected un employment as he was a gullying student at ASU !
There is fat meek more but I will refrain and give it a rest!
Please Garry you already made a fool of your self and family (you are old enough tone the girls grand father !)
Thanks for listening as i will appologize I have to correct a persons actions as he is WRONG!
DR
H
fathered his child up to to see his youngest
D
By: Garys wife's sister !!! on December 19, 2011
at 2:57 am
Hello the fact that the case in Family court in Maricopa county is public record it is FN2010-050940 and the evidence of Mr. Keyfauvers infidelities and expenses to addiction to young strippers can be found and is public record attached to all of the court documents you will find Mr.Keyfauver is a listed liar and that his wife was disposed of in the mental health system as Gary solicited whores around Central Phoenix !
The entire file is found in Maricipa county superior court and still in litigation as Mr. Keyfauver Gently weeps over his loss of 401k
He also has had no interaction with counseling with a wife and kids for 20 years as she was married to Me.Keyfauver until Lori’s brother passed away and Gary flew off the handle as Lori his Mebtally Ill wife was accepting her doctor place her in 2005 on lexipro!
Gary discovered that Lori was taking medication to help her as Gary was outraged she consider psychiatric drugs to help her cope with anything as he displayed continually mental abuse!
Unfortunately in this case the whole situation is not fully explained as Mr. Keyfauver chooses yes to only discuss what he chooses to discuss to polish his image !
I’m sorry that the blog has been overly abused by this topic and that Gary so chose to polish his image as he had plenty of extra marital affairs during his marriage !
Mr. Keyfauver is targets the media as he is loosing what I’d say is fair in a 20 years marriage as they split their assets ! Gary choses to play the victim in this matter never to aid or help in any form just when you were caught spending huge amounts of money decide on an exit plan of the 20 yr marriage ! Sad that you Gary basically used a system to dispose of your wife but never used the system to help her during your marriage only to exit (she needed help apparently as well as you need the help!)
Signed,
MT
By: MT on January 11, 2012
at 10:03 pm
Mr Keyfauver is nothing more than narsistic fool
By: Jackie on February 11, 2012
at 12:42 am