The Family Room — Families Struggling with Mental Illness

Take care of yourself.

With so much to do and so much on your mind, you can forget about yourself. After all self-care isn’t on your to-do list. And, for too many of us – especially moms – self care seems, well, selfish.

Even if the gang isn’t coming to your house, you are making plans just the same. Part of those plans may be helping your ill loved one, navigate the stress of holidays with no relapse. But, if you are walking a tightrope with your own physical and emotional needs, you can’t reach out and help someone else without risking both of you falling.

Here are some ideas to care for yourself, so you can care for your loved one. And, both of you can enjoy friends and family during the holiday season.

1.    Get plenty of rest.

• Even if you have overnight guests, don’t feel like you have to stay up all night. Having guests is hard work. Get some rest so you can enjoy the visit; rather than looking forward to the day they leave.
• You can’t make it through that to-do list if you don’t have the energy to do so.
• No one appreciates a tired, crabby you.

2.    Cut down that to-do list

• Determine what is essential and important. Everything else goes to the hope list. (I hope we have time for this, but if not we’ll enjoy Christmas anyway.)
• To cut down the list: 1) Put it in order of priority. What is important to you and your family? 2) Draw a line in the middle of the list. 3) Cross off everything in the bottom half of the list. Transfer those items to your hope list if you’d like.
• Look at what’s left. Decide what you must do, and what others can do. Your ill family member may want to be involved with some of the holiday task and traditions. This is one way to be involved without having to meet other’s expectations.

3.    Watch your diet.

• Be careful with all the holiday treats – candy, pies, cookies. Just the over indulgence in this area can make you physically tired and have less energy to cope.
• Don’t over eat at the wonderful holiday dinner. Limit portions and slowly enjoy what’s on your plate.
• Limit alcohol intake. Go ahead; toast the New Year with a glass of wine. After that drink non-alcoholic beverages. Alcohol can dehydrate your system, deplete other nutrients, and you’ll feel worse and have less energy.

Just these three simple steps will help you have the energy and emotional stamina to help your loved one navigate the holiday stress. These simple steps will help you enjoy the Holy Season as well.